it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
