Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
