I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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