Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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