Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
