I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
