I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
high people should be assigned attendants
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
