She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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