I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
