im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
