I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize
