I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
