Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
