Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
