I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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