Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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