dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
