I think im going to throw up on grandma
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Houston, we have a blender
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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