We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
