I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize