Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
