I hate all girls vehemently.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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