Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
