Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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