im about as happy as oj after his trial
he thought i was a dude.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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