It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love you.
Bad choice
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
