She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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