Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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