She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
should my penis look like a turkey
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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