She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
