just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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