Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
