i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
