Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
