That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You're like the curious george of whores
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
