no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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