i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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