When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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