i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize