roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
