I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
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Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
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