there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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