I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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