She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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