We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
