if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
