Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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