I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
