There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
