I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
