lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
