Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize