and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
