I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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