ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
