He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
