In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
