So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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