I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
