just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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